Over the top? Yes please!

[Charlie Allison]

Hey guys!
I've decided to let you know about something ScaryCanary and I are working on--and let you in on the process of how we got there. This is a challenge to see who can write the most over-the-top short story (Flash fiction--that's another session but if you wanna try anyway...)

So, the meat and potatoes of this post:
-Talk to someone on the forums. Introduce yourself (We have a section for that you know). Get to chatting or posting. Brainstorm some weird stuff.
Then start posting and debating about it. Bandy some plans.

For example, take this conversation between me and Felix:

Me: "So anyway, this whole mess got tied up by the litigators..."
Felix: "Wait. Liti-gator? As in the Grand Gator?"
Me: "Felix, you're a genius. What if we made a world based around the usual structure of a legal thriller, only with more luchadors and gatormen?!"
Felix: "I'm a fan of private eye stories. Let's try to work that in there."
Let's just say that things escalated from there. Now we have a court-room drama that features a judge who has boinked the moon successfully, a ninja and a gatorman luchador as defense attorneys and a magical copyright case that might be decided by trial by combat. Oh, and a character named, and I kid you not, Piggus Litigus.

So that, boys and girls, is how you drink deep from the crazy pool. Now the only thing to do is to post it.

Show us what you got! Write something so balls-out crazy you wouldn't show it to your best friend--then post it here. Because what's writing for, if not to have fun?

See you on the other side!

Charlie

[scootsmckenzie]

This is something I wrote a long time ago bit it's what I consider an epic poem.


The crisp morning air suspended his pungent breath, smelling of salmon and liberty, as his omnipotent gaze purveyed the horrific scene. The disfigured bodies lay in shambles, frozen and devoid of the life they once contained and he knew his valiant work had just begun. He eventually set his focus on his noble warpigeon, Izuzu, and with a mighty bellow he swiftly took flight.

Soaring higher and higher into the stratosphere gathering speed all whilst shattering through an F-22 fighter jet. He knew what gallant deed lay ahead. Though the stratosphere was absent of oxygen he did not bother with such minor details. For justice was all that kept him going, justice filled his enormous lungs. After flying for over an hour, all while his powerful voice trembled the barren ground beneath him, he dove towards the battle ensuing below.

With Izuzu in all his glory following majestically behind he purveyed that which he was soon to destroy. Spanning as far as the eye could see lay a sea of enemies. His teeth shone with the malice he had for all as he slowly was enveloped by the shadow of the ominous crag to the north. With a deafening boom he plummeted deep into the scorched earth. A plume of dust and debris showered the scene as a shockwave sent everyone within a five mile radius of the epicenter tumbling back like sacks of limp noodles.

As the cloud he created separated Izuzu’s armor glistened in the sunlight like pools of liquid mercury, burning out the eyes of all who durst to glance in his direction. The coarse hair on the back of his neck stood up, excited by the prospect of the bloodbath about to ensue. With one foul leap out of the crater the battle had begun. The bloodthirsty soldiers of all the nations of the world, though deaf and blind, still fought with all their might. With his two double-sided axes in hand he sliced through their flesh with such ease the battle was quickly won.

With a triumphant roar that collapsed what remained of the nearly destroyed crag he bounded back towards his trusty Izuzu. His glossy black eyes captured the light and held it captive he tore his jagged claws into the ash-encrusted ground. His name is known far and wide. He is… The Bear of Freedom.

[Charlie Allison]

Jun 3, 2016 16:46:41 GMT scootsmckenzie said:

This is something I wrote a long time ago bit it's what I consider an epic poem.


The crisp morning air suspended his pungent breath, smelling of salmon and liberty, as his omnipotent gaze purveyed the horrific scene. The disfigured bodies lay in shambles, frozen and devoid of the life they once contained and he knew his valiant work had just begun. He eventually set his focus on his noble warpigeon, Izuzu, and with a mighty bellow he swiftly took flight.

Soaring higher and higher into the stratosphere gathering speed all whilst shattering through an F-22 fighter jet. He knew what gallant deed lay ahead. Though the stratosphere was absent of oxygen he did not bother with such minor details. For justice was all that kept him going, justice filled his enormous lungs. After flying for over an hour, all while his powerful voice trembled the barren ground beneath him, he dove towards the battle ensuing below.

With Izuzu in all his glory following majestically behind he purveyed that which he was soon to destroy. Spanning as far as the eye could see lay a sea of enemies. His teeth shone with the malice he had for all as he slowly was enveloped by the shadow of the ominous crag to the north. With a deafening boom he plummeted deep into the scorched earth. A plume of dust and debris showered the scene as a shockwave sent everyone within a five mile radius of the epicenter tumbling back like sacks of limp noodles.

As the cloud he created separated Izuzu’s armor glistened in the sunlight like pools of liquid mercury, burning out the eyes of all who durst to glance in his direction. The coarse hair on the back of his neck stood up, excited by the prospect of the bloodbath about to ensue. With one foul leap out of the crater the battle had begun. The bloodthirsty soldiers of all the nations of the world, though deaf and blind, still fought with all their might. With his two double-sided axes in hand he sliced through their flesh with such ease the battle was quickly won.

With a triumphant roar that collapsed what remained of the nearly destroyed crag he bounded back towards his trusty Izuzu. His glossy black eyes captured the light and held it captive he tore his jagged claws into the ash-encrusted ground. His name is known far and wide. He is… The Bear of Freedom.

Hey, good to have you aboard, man!
I love the images in this--there are a lot of great ideas in this story that could be fleshed out--'warpigeon', 'the bear of freedom', 'Foul leaps'. Of course this is your story, do what you want with it--but I'd love to see more This feels (And in some respects IS) an epic poem. Your lush language allows the audience forget, for a moment, that we don't know who the bear and Izuzu are fighting (or care, which is a real accomplishment) and where we are. It's delightfully, almost Shatnerian in its devotion to language and verbosity. This is a thickness of language you see in a lot of early modernist writing and late romantic things--like JOSEPH ANDREWS--using epic prose to describe mundane objects or actions is called 'faux-epic language'. I wonder what use you could put this form to...
Have you considered expanding this story into fully-realized world? A world of gloriously over-the-top-descriptions and dream-logic?

[eldercheese]

this is wonderful I saw this yesterday while I was at work but like a doof for got to check it until just before work today. I do love how while it is which fits the freedom bear thing I think. I have to agree with my compatriot I would love to see more. I for one would love to see a ballad to The Bear of Freedom. I would have deeper thoughts but I have to do work stuff like a nerd now -_- I'll try and read over it again when I have free time... Sunday? maybe who knows anymore lol

[scootsmckenzie]

Thanks for the feedback guys. I'll try to write more in this style as it seems to come somewhat easily, this was written less than an hour before it was due as my first assignment in poetry class.