Trap (A view into a wider story)

[eldercheese]

Ok so bare with me while I work all this new fancy Forum stuff

So Trap is a part of a much larger story that I'm composing at the moment.  I am in what I think of as the collected none cannon shorts period of development of this story world.  Meaning in a nut shell that every now and then I pound out a story in the greater world and keep doing that till I feel ready to start writing for real.  The world in question is called by the "Pariah" and this is a snap shot of it and follows some knights as they rush to the rescue of there friend and comrade who was taken in the night by an unknown attacker.  Classic stuff really, hopefully there is some suspense and excitement involved but if not that's why its a rough draft right

Trap.pdf (343.29 KB)

So here it is let me know what you guys think.  If you spot any grammar or spelling issues please let me know that is a constant issue with me.

Attachments:

Trap.pdf (343.29 KB)

[Charlie Allison]

I'm on it! Woo! Is this a second draft?

[eldercheese]

Well its not the rough draft so its been edited by some jerk off named charlie but I don't think you'd like him very much he is kind of a nerd.

btw: when are you launch the other boards or should I do it when I get home later tonight?

[Charlie Allison]

I'll create the other boards today No worries!

[eldercheese]

Groovy! Look at us talking business over story on the story board then again you've already read this story so I guess its ok. Anyways hit me up on skype so we can brainstorm a bit on the site and I have another idea of a board to add that might be fun. Anyways I have to get back to sculpting so I'll talk to you later.