Peterskaya Street

[Charlie Allison]

peterskaia street.docx (482.25 KB)

Russian folk-songs make for very, very weird writing prompts. this one somehow morphed into a panorama--and less of a character study. I want the reader to be so caught up in the richness of the background that they don't even notice that somethings horribly wrong until the final line.
Questions: Does Leonid require more of a character, or is he fine as serving as a disposable POV? Could you see and smell the grand Peterskaya--were the images strong enough or did I skimp?

See you on the flippity-flip!

[justin1023]

May 23, 2016 12:50:20 GMT Charlie Allison said:

Russian folk-songs make for very, very weird writing prompts. this one somehow morphed into a panorama--and less of a character study. I want the reader to be so caught up in the richness of the background that they don't even notice that somethings horribly wrong until the final line.
Questions: Does Leonid require more of a character, or is he fine as serving as a disposable POV? Could you see and smell the grand Peterskaya--were the images strong enough or did I skimp?

See you on the flippity-flip!    

Man, I loved this! Leonid is the perfect POV for this story and you should absolutely do nothing more with him. What you should be aiming for is shock in this story, and you got it. It's interesting when you ask about seeing and smelling. Your descriptions evoked visions of Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco for me. So I think it works!